After 30 years, “The Breakfast Club” still holds a special place in minds and hearts of people across all generations. For the brain, princess, basket case, athlete and criminal in each of you, Pulp’s guide to MySlice registration has the right courses. These classes are all pretty bizarre — some of them are just better at hiding it than others.

Sincerely Yours,
The Daily Orange Pulp Staff

 

The Criminal

SOC 397: “Criminology”
In this course, students will learn about the nature and significance of crime, as well as historical and modern explanations of crime. Throw on a flannel shirt and some denim to be like John Bender, and embrace the bad boy lifestyle. In this course you’ll discover how varieties of crime are measured and affect criminals. Avoid incarceration — or at least detention — by learning the evaluation of crime control and its strategies.

PSY 315: “Drugs and Human Behavior”
As the rebel of the group, Bender smokes cigarettes and encourages the rest of the group to get high with him while they’re inside the library. Avoid a bad trip by learning the short-term and long-term effects of different drugs on the brain in this course. Bender may be clueless about this topic, but you don’t have to be. Students will learn about the effects of psychoactive drugs on human behavior, ranging from their basic pharmacology and neurobiology to their history.

 

The Brain

WRT 114: “Writing Culture”
The worst principal of all time, Richard Vernon, demands each member of the Breakfast Club writes an essay about “who you think you are” and about violations they committed to end up in Saturday detention. The group only writes one essay, crafted by Brian Johnson. This piece of writing lives on as one of the greatest pieces of writing from the last century — at least the Pulp staff thinks so. In “Writing Culture,” students study creative nonfiction, the memoir and the essay. They will experiment with different writing styles, genres and subjects, and attend lectures of visiting writers. Maybe if you take this class, you can one day write something half as great as Brian did.

PHI 376: “Philosophy of Mind”
Brian would almost certainly enroll in this in-depth analysis of the human mind. It focuses on contemporary issues that have been debated and criticized in the last 70 years — heavy stuff. If you’re more interested in the science and mathematics courses, this may be the humanities class for you. “My experience is that students are often surprised by how close the relationship can end up being between issues in philosophy of mind and related scientific disciplines: cognitive psychology, neuroscience, computer science, to name some of the obvious ones,” professor Kevin Edwards said in an email.

 

The Princess

COM 344: “Diversity and Disney Princesses”

Claire Standish is the ultimate high school princess — pretty, popular and prone to being in her own little world. But there’s more to being a princess than what it seems. In the class “Diversity and Disney Princesses,” students will analyze how the portrayal of these female characters relates to today’s culture, particularly in the representation of women. The course will examine both the positive and negative examples of diversity in the movies and look at the societal values in films such as “The Little Mermaid,” “Beauty and the Beast” and “Cinderella.”

HST 311: “Medieval Civilization”
Before there was high school royalty, there was medieval royalty. The course will be taught by professor Samantha Herrick next fall, who said it is one of her favorite classes to teach. It covers medieval Europe from roughly 750–1200 and delves into the lives of those who lived in the middle ages. “The middle ages are so different, so completely alien,” Herrick said. “And yet, they also have a lot of the roots of our own society in them, so we understand our own world better, but we also venture into this alien universe and read about people who are very unlike us.”

 

The Basket Case

LIT 226: “Tolstoy and Dostoevsky”

This class is perfect for any basket case. From “Anna Karenina” to Dostoevsky’s “Brothers Karamazov,” the Russian literary giants explore passion, sex, death, religion and cultural trends in their distinguished prose. Your friends might call you insane for reading these crazy 19th century writers, but professor Patricia Burak’s enthusiasm and passion make this class a must-take. “LIT 226 is a class the requires you to surrender yourself to 1,800 pages of Russian literature. This isn’t easy,” said Nate Birnbaum, a freshman policy studies and economics dual major who took the class last fall. “You are forced to consider themes in ways that Western authors don’t. If you’re not questioning the true meaning of life and how illogical love and faith are, you’re doing it wrong.”

PHI 325: “Existentialism”
Even though in the beginning of “The Breakfast Club” we don’t hear Allison Reynolds speak much, it’s clear there’s a lot going on in her mind. The basket case tells us, “When you grow up, your heart dies.” For anyone who questions if life has any purpose or meaning, PHI 325 would be a valuable course. “In this class you’ll read writers who probe the meaning of human freedom, of choice, of tragic dilemmas, of episodes of meaninglessness, of caring relationships, and of the advent of radiant meaning and insight,” professor Edward Mooney said in an email.

 

The Athlete

PED 226: “Bootcamp Fitness”

Andy Clark wouldn’t be the fit, muscular wrestler he is without undergoing physical training. In “Bootcamp Fitness,” students experience a challenging workout to increase strength, muscle endurance, balance and flexibility. It’s a combination of cardio and strength training using only your body. The class incorporates tabata-style training, allowing students to hold a particular exercise for just the right amount of time before breaking between movements, increasing mental awareness and strength without burning excess energy.

PPE 325: “The Philosophy, Principles and Organization of Athletics in Education”
If you want to be an athlete, you have to know the rules behind the sports. In this course, which is taught in the School of Education, students can learn the philosophy and principles of athletics in regards to physical and general education. Don’t give in to the overbearing pressure of sports; learn the coach’s perspective of how to be an educational leader, as well as the general principles of school budgets, purchasing and use of facilities.

 

Published on April 5, 2015 at 11:26 pm